Log of Funny Things Hansel Has Said

I told him I was going to keep a log of funny things he said so that I'd remember them after he left. He'd say something funny every day and I'd write it down on a little scrap of paper and tuck it in my binder or magnet it to my computer carrier. I lost most of those scraps and I never created a log of them but here are some of the ones I remember most:

Michael said something sweet to me so I blew him a kiss accross the room. Hansel said, "What are you doing? You aint got no lips! You just blew him air. Nothing is landing on his cheek but air right now."

I wore a new shirt to school and he said, "Nice shirt, what color is that? Pepto Bismol?"

One day he described in detail the path of air from a fart as it traveled through his boxers. I won't do that one justice here.

After returning to the room to check out some S.W.A.T. guys in the building the girls in class asked, "were any of them hot?" I answered, "oh man, one of them was once my student." Hansel helped me feel better by shouting out, "ohhhhh! Sit your old ass down! What? Are you teaching his grandkids now?"

Still on age...
I said something to the class about how being 40 was good and bad. Cherie dropped her paint brush and asked in a high pitch voice, "You're FORTY? Forty? My mom is forty!! How can you be forty?"
Hansel adds, "Yea, Forty? Damn, why don't you just turn to dust already? You're so old I'm suprised you can sit in that chair without an oxygen aid. I mean, if you added up the ages of all my friends you still wouldn't get FORTY!"

On the last day of school he came in the room proclaiming, "Yo, that was the last time I walk through that door for the first time of the day."