Joint Custody

I'll be house-sitting for Heather again beginning tomorrow. I packed all my clothes last night and had Hubey stash Tessa's crate in the car. He and I have been texting and emailing about when we will each be responsible for her. Even so, we are both forgetful and try not to be so inflexible that neither of us can make last minute changes. This morning we had a text conversation that went like this:

H: When are you taking her?
Me: Can I get her on mon on my way to heathers from work?
H:Confused. Thought u were taking her 2nite? That's why u needed crate. Oops, u did mention getn acquatinted with sampson first. I 4got, no wonder I didn't have a time u were takn her. Sorry.
H: Any time is fine just txt me when ur able.
Me: Is this what it wuz like wit J? :) (his daughter)
H: Yep
Me: Im sooo sorry.
H: Yea, but aren't u sooooo happy we couldn't have kids....he totally saved us from an even worse situation.What would that have been like?!?! All for a reason.

That mad me sad. Not angry, just sad. Many people say the same thing and I know they don't mean to make me feel sad so I don't hold it against them. But here's the thing; I don't believe all things happen for a reason. As my husband for the past ten years I can't believe he doesn't know that by now. But since he'll not always be my husband I don't get mad at him for making such comments. He didn't mean to hurt me, that's what he believes and I can't be mad at him for his beliefs not matching my own.

I wanted so badly to have children, children with him. After getting married I remember a converstation I had with Donnawhere we discussed how many children we wanted. I said, "Four. More if we can afford it. I'd love to see how many combinations of Hubey and I we could make but I'll settle for four." I loved growing up in a big family and wanted the same as an adult. When it didn't happen I accepted it for being what it is. Just not what I planned and in life, you cannot always get what you planned for. I can't say we'd have made it through the first child to even get to second, third or fourth. But here is what I responded as my last text, and he didn't text me back afterward:

Nope, can't say im happy i never had ur child. Even if it is easier