Twenty Seven

I met my friend Karin out for dinner and a couple of drinks with a couple friends of hers. We went to the new hip area on Division, I cannot tell you how many areas like this I wish I bought property near ten years ago. I parked my car and on the walk to the place we decided to meet at I saw I guy riding his bike while reading and holding the leashes of three dogs. And yes, there were dogs attached to the leashes.

I was thirty minutes late, not really like me. The others decided to change location of dinner because there was a thirty minute wait. We spent the next forty five minutes walking up and down the strip trying to decide where to go to instead. We found a place that seated us outdoors even though, at first, they said they had no outdoor tables available. We did have a nice dinner and I loved Karin's friends. They were fun to converse with, they gave me dating advice as well. Advice from women on dating is not the same as advice from men, I'll get to that later.

After dinner we went to a bar that had outdoor seating, we were really in the mood for being outdoors. I noted the nice scenery, "those two guys at that table are gorgeous, but they can't be more than twenty seven."

"Oh," said Alana, "all the best looking guys are twenty seven. You'll see, every year older they are is one point less good looking."

"Awww, I can't date a twenty seven year old! That's just way too young!" I said.

"Then you're going to have to lower your standards on appearance." A host approached our table, a really good looking, well built host with plenty of hair. "Ladies would you mind if you moved inside, we have a time limit on how long we can serve drinks on the sidewalk and we're reaching it very soon. You can stay out here if you finish your drinks but if you'd like more then you'll have to go inside."

"Are you twenty seven?" I asked him.

"I'm twenty seven," he replied as though I just asked him how old he was. Not, "yes how did you guess?" It was as though, he too, understood he was at the peak of his handsomeness and was aware that we were in communal admiration. Bless his little twenty seven year old heart.

We moved inside and waited for a male friend of Alana's to arrive. When he did we asked him some dating advice. Karin asked about boat guy, I asked about trader guy. On both men we were advised that neither guy would be calling us again. "What? Why not?"

"Did he try anything with you?"

"Yea he did, but I wasn't going to sleep with him on the first date."

"You'll never hear from him again."

"What? He bought me a bottle of champagne."

"Traders and guys with boats have all kinds of money, they buy bottles of champagne for all their first dates. No sex, no second phone call." We had to believe him, he was drunk and had no interest in us, no reason to lie. Still, we pressed further.

"Yea, but I took my shirt off."

"So? What do you ladies have to offer?" He looked directly at our chests without any shame whatsoever, "What are you B cups? C's at the most? B's and C's are a dime a dozen, if you were DD's, maybe but those boobs aren't going to get you a second date without the big prize giving them some company."

On a different day in a conversation with JP I was advised NOT to go too far on the first date because of the whole 'why buy the cow when you get the milk for free' theory. However, I'm not for sale and really just want to share some milk, so then what? And is a twenty seven year old's opinion of milk different than a forty year old's?