Foundation Friends

A couple nights ago I met with three friends that I have known since grade school. We grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same high school, swam on the same swim teams and worked at the same swim and tennis club together. We've managed to maintain our friendship as adults and I treasure these women like no other friends. I'm writing this blog because one of them mentioned that she hadn't seen any recent posts from me. So Donna, this one's for you!

I love these women like sisters, having no sisters I can only imagine that this is true but I feel it must be. When we get together the four of us giggle like the girls we were when we first met. We remember every embarrassing moment of growth that we shared and forgive all adolescent mistakes. I love them for remembering things I have forgotten and for forgetting things I can't seem to forget myself.

When I see them I can't believe it was thirty years ago that we first flirted with boys. We played dunk in the pool with boys we had crushes on hoping that the cutest boy of all would pick us to lift and dunk mercilessly until chlorinated snot ran uncontrollably out of our noses. In high school we fought over which member of The Police would be our boyfriend, we all wanted Sting and no one wanted Andy Summers. "Ewwww! He looks so old!" In college we each attended a different school but, even without the Internet, managed to keep in touch through mail, phone and spring break visits. We talked each other through good and bad break ups, diets and final exams.

As young adults Heather was the only person brave enough to tell me I was making a mistake by marrying my first boyfriend. Donna was the only person I felt comfortable enough admitting that I didn't actually want to marry him. Jen may have been the first to high - five me when the engagement was over. (Donna was definitely the first to high - five me when she met the basketball player that helped distract me from the engagement!)

Heather was there to help me shop for the wedding dress that I wore when I eloped. All were there for me even when, most especially when, my parents would not approve of my marrying outside my race. I cried to them when I couldn't conceive and they were most sensitive to it when they became pregnant. Heather shares her little boy with me like I am another aunt and last year when I held him as he slapped the water in her parents' back yard pool I laughed with delight and said, "Oh Heather! Thank you so much for having this baby for me!" She laughed right back. She knew just what I meant.

All have been there for me through every step of my divorce, never judging, never preaching, always listening and offering laughter and a glass of wine when I need it most.

Donna and I argued at breakfast the other day. In high school the bad feelings may have lasted for days, in present day they lasted only moments.

I once was trying to describe to Heather's boyfriend how I felt about these three women and he put it so appropriately, "of course, they are your foundation friends!"

Donna, Heather and Jen: you are my dearest friends. I love you so much, I hope you know it and feel it the same way I do. I cannot wait until the next time we polish off 3...4? bottles of wine together!