For Cristian and Catalina

They give me so much, my students do. Is it right to take so much from them when it's supposed to be my job to give to them? They give me joy and laughter and a reason to get up and go to work. But mostly they give me the best stories. This is my first blog and it's been given to me courtesy of a sophomore named Cristian.

I arrive to work earlier than most and walk to my room in quiet hallways. One quiet morning I stopped outside a math classroom to admire some drawings. One drawing, by a student named Cristian, really impressed me. Another teacher stopped along with me and I explained why Cristian's drawing was my favorite. As I pointed out his artistic merit we heard a voice say, "that's my drawing." I turned around to see a young student with an angelic face and sweet smile. I asked, "you're Cristian?" He said, "yes," continuing to smile. I asked if he was taking an art class and he said "no." So, I asked him who his counselor was and would it be OK if I suggested an art class for him this year. He agreed and off he went.

Second semester Cristian walked into my Painting class and joined a group of students who already knew each other and already had 'bonded.' Everyone loved Cristian immediately and he didn't even try. He shouldn't have been placed in the class, as it was a bit too advanced for him, but I too loved him already so he stayed. Cristian does not curse, he won't even say "Damn." Cristian says hello to me as he enters the room every time he enters and has a smile for all his classmates as they come in. On Valentine's Day Cristian brought everyone candy, not just the girls. This earned him many hugs, unlike the boy who brought kisses only for the girls.

This boy's face, with his inch long black eyelashes, permanent smile and rosy cheeks, tells all there is to tell about the goodness of this boy. So the morning after the shooting at Northern Illinois University when I found out that his cousin was one of the victims, I felt a pain in my chest that I'd not experienced before. I was saddened by the occurence as soon as I heard of it, felt a connection as an NIU alum, felt further connected when I learned one victim was a graduate of our school, but the deep sadness I felt when I learned that she was from the same family as Cristian is indescribable.

He walked into my class on the morning of February 15, 2008 with the same smile he always shares. I was with his counselor as she was asking if it would be ok for her to speak with him for a few minutes. I'll never forget the way his smile left his face when he saw the two of us turn to face him. He didn't know.

It was in his high school counselor's office that he learned of the tragic death of his cousin.
As he left the building with his father Cristian was approached by the media. Instead of ignoring them, he and his father graciously addressed them with dignity and composure.
At the wake Cristian helped comfort his mother and his godmother (Catalina's mother) in his crisp navy blue suit and shiny new shoes. His cheeks were still rosy, but his lush eyelashes fell over sunken eyes and there was no sign of a smile.

Cristian returned to school the following Tuesday, with a smile. I could only smile back at him and ask him if his intention was to keep his mind busy. He is not angry or resentful. He accepts his cousins death as a tragedy that must be endured. He is stronger than anyone I can recall as he faces this unusually rare loss. The next day he came in with that same smile and handed me a bracelet. It's a bracelet I see many of my students wearing, it's made of wooden, square shaped beads with tiny pictures of saints covering each bead. "I've heard you mention how much you like these bracelets so I got you one. " I wanted to cry but instead I just thanked him and hugged him. He seemed surprised, as if I should have expected someone would give me one of these bracelets after hearing me tell so many others how much I liked them.

I understood then the deep pain in my chest when I learned that Catalina was from the same family as Cristian. Boys this nice, this polite and filled with that sort of generosity don't happen by accident. This kind of person comes from a family with an amazing amount of goodness and love in them. Catalina had to be similar. You can read endless accounts of how sweet and genrous she was, but you KNOW those accounts are true when you meet Cristian.

This boy makes me want to be a better person. He hasn't just given me a trendy bracelet, he's given me the desire to find more goodness in myself so that I can share it with others the way he does. Thank you Cristian.