Thursday, July 24, 2008

Twenty Seven

I met my friend Karin out for dinner and a couple of drinks with a couple friends of hers. We went to the new hip area on Division, I cannot tell you how many areas like this I wish I bought property near ten years ago. I parked my car and on the walk to the place we decided to meet at I saw I guy riding his bike while reading and holding the leashes of three dogs. And yes, there were dogs attached to the leashes.

I was thirty minutes late, not really like me. The others decided to change location of dinner because there was a thirty minute wait. We spent the next forty five minutes walking up and down the strip trying to decide where to go to instead. We found a place that seated us outdoors even though, at first, they said they had no outdoor tables available. We did have a nice dinner and I loved Karin's friends. They were fun to converse with, they gave me dating advice as well. Advice from women on dating is not the same as advice from men, I'll get to that later.

After dinner we went to a bar that had outdoor seating, we were really in the mood for being outdoors. I noted the nice scenery, "those two guys at that table are gorgeous, but they can't be more than twenty seven."

"Oh," said Alana, "all the best looking guys are twenty seven. You'll see, every year older they are is one point less good looking."

"Awww, I can't date a twenty seven year old! That's just way too young!" I said.

"Then you're going to have to lower your standards on appearance." A host approached our table, a really good looking, well built host with plenty of hair. "Ladies would you mind if you moved inside, we have a time limit on how long we can serve drinks on the sidewalk and we're reaching it very soon. You can stay out here if you finish your drinks but if you'd like more then you'll have to go inside."

"Are you twenty seven?" I asked him.

"I'm twenty seven," he replied as though I just asked him how old he was. Not, "yes how did you guess?" It was as though, he too, understood he was at the peak of his handsomeness and was aware that we were in communal admiration. Bless his little twenty seven year old heart.

We moved inside and waited for a male friend of Alana's to arrive. When he did we asked him some dating advice. Karin asked about boat guy, I asked about trader guy. On both men we were advised that neither guy would be calling us again. "What? Why not?"

"Did he try anything with you?"

"Yea he did, but I wasn't going to sleep with him on the first date."

"You'll never hear from him again."

"What? He bought me a bottle of champagne."

"Traders and guys with boats have all kinds of money, they buy bottles of champagne for all their first dates. No sex, no second phone call." We had to believe him, he was drunk and had no interest in us, no reason to lie. Still, we pressed further.

"Yea, but I took my shirt off."

"So? What do you ladies have to offer?" He looked directly at our chests without any shame whatsoever, "What are you B cups? C's at the most? B's and C's are a dime a dozen, if you were DD's, maybe but those boobs aren't going to get you a second date without the big prize giving them some company."

On a different day in a conversation with JP I was advised NOT to go too far on the first date because of the whole 'why buy the cow when you get the milk for free' theory. However, I'm not for sale and really just want to share some milk, so then what? And is a twenty seven year old's opinion of milk different than a forty year old's?

Sunday, July 20, 2008

What the Vet Said

A friend of mine told me he was curious about what the vet's advice was regarding the two dogs fighting, here it is:

Contessa is a bullmastiff and her personality is laid back boss of the scene. Sampson is a doberman and his personality is knuckle-headed, spastic, goofball. Tessa needs to feel in control at all times and Sampson is very much a guard dog, he probably insults her control of the situation in some way those times that she goes off on him. As long as he is respectful of her and her leadership there shouldn't be a problem. I am the leader of Contessa but I am to encourage her position over Sampson. When she sends him appropriate warnings, such as a snap or a body position that he shows respect for, I am to reinforce it by telling her, "good girl." I should allow her to control him without being too bossy.

I was already having them sit and wait for me to feed them and giving Tessa her food first, then Sampson. When I see them both I greet and give Tessa affection first, then Sampson. Tessa walks through doors first and sits on the couch with me while Sampson sits on the floor. She is not to boss him around without limit, however. If she does I need to distract her, interfere with their eye contact and intervene.

In the case of arriving home I am to let Sampson into the yard where he can run around like the maniac he needs to be at that time without getting in the way of Tessa greeting me and showing me love. When he calms down he can then share space with her.

Should a fight break out and I am unable to physically separate them by pulling Tessa off, one trick is throwing something at them like water or a shoe. I tried the shoe thing and it worked. Yep there was another fight, smaller one. Sampson looked at the shoe like, "huh? Where'd that come from and what am I supposed to do with it?" Since he was distracted Tessa left him alone.

After the big fight I was able to walk the two dogs, together around the area without any problem. I had Sampson on the right and Tessa on my left. There was some contest over who got to lead but the walks were successful. Tessa was back home with her dad this week enjoying her solitude and Sampson didn't seem to miss her.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Show us some love baby!

Heather's friend, Sharon, was in town so we all went out to eat at a little organic pizza joint on Division. Jackson flirted with a cute little blond that was six months older than him and the tables surrounding us all watched in amusement. When she left he was a little upset but got over it quickly.

Heather urged him to give Sharon a kiss but he played uninterested. She told him to show Sharon his muscles so he lifted his little arms up in a Mr. Universe pose and flexed his baby muscles for us. "Woa! Wow, look how strong you are!" I told him to show us his abs and he lifted up his little t-shirt and stuck out his belly. "Nice abs buddy!" We tried to get him to kiss Sharon again but he wouldn't. "Blow her a kiss, Jackson." Nothing.
"Jackson, a kiss! How do you show a girl you love her?" With that he grabbed his crotch and smiled.

The fight

On the night of the milestone Tessa and Sampson proved they still had issues with each other.

I got home shortly after midnight and greeted Tessa in the kitchen then let Sampson out of his crate. He ran around and around, inside and outside then back inside. Inside he ran by Tessa several times and on one occasion she snapped at him and he snapped back. I believe in letting dogs fight it out for up to three seconds, anything beyond that could result in visits to the vet emergency room. I did what I could to intervene.
Sampson's pinch collar had fallen off in his crate so he was naked and impossible to grab. I got ahold of Tessa's collar but she wriggled out of my hold and slipped her head out of the collar. There was a lot of growling and snapping and saliva. I got between them, holding Tessa back by blocking her with one leg and without any success yelled for Sampson to sit. Tessa squirmed away from me and chased him under the kitchen table and into the sun room, I followed. I grabbed Tessa's hindquarters and pulled her back and away from Sampson but he continued to challenge her with growls and barks and bared teeth. He came at her with his teeth and bit at her face so I let her go, or she got away from me, I don't know which. I was hoping Tessa would get him pinned to the ground and calm him down by holding him, as I've seen her do frequently with unruly boys, but Sampson is too fast and too agile. He kept getting away. When the biting began to really scare me I left them for the sink to grab some water to throw on them.
By the time I turned around to toss it at them the had stopped, standing side by side and both slouched and panting. I yelled for Sampson to go outside and after I got him out there I turned around and tossed the water at Tessa's face, "you idiot! What was that all about?" She kept panting and panting. I looked her over and she seemed fine so I let Sampson back inside. I ran a clean paper towel over each of them looking for blood but saw none.
The next morning I called the vet and made an appointment for Tessa after observing that the brow over her right eye was scratched and swollen and the white of that eye solid red. Before the appointment the two dogs shared space without incident but Tessa did make a couple of moves that worried me. My vet consulted me on how to make the situation easier to deal with. She spent an hour talking it over with me. (Pet Vets in Oak Park...they are the BEST!!!)
Then I had to call my soon to be ex husband and explain the whole thing to him. I felt like a single mom having to call her baby's daddy and tell him of an accident that occurred on my watch. Remember Kramer vs. Kramer? He was incredibly understanding about it. "You would've been yelled at if I had gone home and found her beaten up without explanation." As hard as I thought it was going to be, it was easier to tell him about the fight now that we're where we are. It was harder to talk to him about this stuff when we were married.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Milestone

Last night, for the first time since we arrived on Tuesday Contessa initiated play with Sampson. It was beautiful. We were sitting here in the green room, as it's called by Heather, the three of us. I was on the laptop with Tessa on the couch next to me and Sampson was on his bed. Very calmly, Contessa got off the couch and approached Sampson on the floor and began to sniff him. She took a step back and gave him a play-bow. "Good girl!" I told her enthusiastically and Sampson jumped up immediately. And then they played. Two big silly dogs playing lightly at first but soon bumping into each other and jumping up at each other wetting one another with their excitement created saliva.
I corralled them down the stairs and tried to lead them to the basement where there's no furniture, it's cooler, and more room. Just then Mandy called and needed more directions on where to park. The play had to stop for a moment while I took her call but it picked up again when I got them into the yard.
I was absolutely elated.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Sampson-Part 2

It's a really good thing that Sampson is good with Heather's baby because if he weren't he'd be in the shelter by now.

When she first brought him home he marked the entire house repeatedly. He also chewed up some pretty expensive blankets, baby toys and furniture. He was impossible to walk and really hard to train. He was sent to obedience school and learned the basics but his marking habit would have to be solved with surgery, you know, neutering. It's a good thing too, because he couldn't be within 3 feet of my dog without "showing interest" and drooling uncontrollably. Pathetic. He still peed at times for no apparent reason but it's less frequent now.

Sampson has more energy than any dog I've seen, crazy energy. He runs about the house madly chasing after every unfamiliar sound he hears. He returns to the baby's side and lays next to him after each bark led investigation. Sometimes, though, he uses his mouth to get the baby's attention. Nips at his ankles and his hands, he does that to adults as well. It's really annoying. No, seriously, really annoying! He doesn't stop, won't stop until you pay attention to him and cuddle him or pet him. He's getting better but it's still annoying so any tips in this department would be appreciated.

I am house sitting for Heather this week and have brought Contessa with me. I thought that her calm energy would rub off on Sampson but it hasn't totally, yet. Yet, I hope. She saunters around and he runs and runs. She lays down and he runs and runs. She gets up to move and he runs and runs. She sits down and watches him run. The only time he's still is when he's on his leash in the yard. He's approached her several times and she wants nothing to do with him. She gives him silent warnings, which he ignores so she snaps and lunges toward him. Sometimes he runs away whimpering like a little girl and stands ten feet away panting. Sometimes he runs away whimpering like a little girl and then stands ten feet away barking and half growling. He's never shown any more returned aggression than that but when it occurs I command him to come to me, sit, down and stay. Which he does. He seems to get that Tessa is his boss and I am her boss so that means I'm his boss too.

I'm hoping that by the end of the week here they'll be much more used to each other and calmer around each other. Again, any advice is welcomed!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Sampson-Part 1

I was walking my dog a couple months ago when I noticed a doberman I'd never seen before rummaging through a garbage can. I called 311 and was told Animal Control would come pick him up. Meanwhile, I called my dog-loving next door neighbor, Bonnie, and asked if she'd seen the stray. "Yea, yea. I saw him when I left work." Bonnie teaches at the elementary school on our block. "Thomas lured him into his house with a steak to protect him from the gang bangers on the corner."
I had dinner with Heather that night and told her about the dog. She and her ex-husband had four Weimereiners, one still survived but was dying. "I'll take the doberman!" She said after I told her Animal Control was very slow in picking up the stray. I made a couple of phone calls and the next day she came out with her family to meet the dog and see if he was good with her baby, Jackson.
We walked to Thomas' house and met the dobie. He was a little thin and his skin was dry but his nails seemed well maintained. One of his ears was badly cropped and so it pointed to the other one instead of sticking straight up. Though he looked and acted young, his teeth were in bad shape, most likely the result of eating only soft food. Thomas has two young boys and let us know that the boys loved the dog and didn't want him to go but his wife did not like dogs or he would have kept him. He seemed great with Jackson also so we put a leash on him and took off for my house.
On the way a lady saw us and approached saying, "hey! Can I talk to you all for a minute?" We paused and when she reached us she explained that we had her brother's dog. We were puzzled.
"This dog was roaming the streets for hours yesterday." I explained. "If he wasn't taken inside by a neighbor he may have been beaten for sport by the bat carrying gang bangers on the corner."
"Well we appreciate that, my brother would have been upset if that had happened."
"I don't think you understand," added J Paul, "you're talking to two women that would have called the FBI to search for thier dogs if one had gone missing." All they had to do was go accross the street. We didn't want trouble from a neighbor so we handed over the dog. She brought him to the the most impressive Victorian on the block and was greeted at the door by an older woman. "Don't bring him in here!" we heard her yelling, "I thought I was rid of him, don't bring that dog in here!" Heather, J Paul and I looked at each other, "should I go see what's up?" Head nods and "yesses."
I climbed the steps of the house and waved, the door was still open and the two women were having words on the threshold. "Hi! I said, "I was wonderin if we could get that leash back."
The older woman stepped forward and asked, "do you want this dog, baby?"
Confused, I answered, "Um...yes but she just told us it was her brother's."
"Yes, well my son brought this dog home without me knowing and this dog doesn't like my dog. They fight all the time. They don't like each other and my dog was here first. If you want this dog you can have him."
"Well, actually it wouldn't be me taking him, it would be my friend."
"Oh!" She said, "So he wouldn't be living close by? That's even better. Then my son won't see him and try to take him back here."

I've seen her son. He lives in the coach house and is often on the street without his shirt on, mumbling, singing, mowing the lawn. One day he stopped by my yard while I was outside gardening and began singing to me, "you are a lovely woman, yes indeed yes indeed." oh, uh, ok...thanks! "Look, look, look. Your dog aint so tough is he?" People always think my dog's a he. "Is he? Is he? Look, look, my dog is tough."
Contessa kept watchful eyed but would not approach this strange man or wag her tail. Maybe smelled all the liquor.

I got the dog back and handed him over to Heather and J Paul. He's been with them ever since. He and Jackson have become brothers.

Pluto Sandwiches

To get out of the house and away from my soon to be ex husband (stbeh), I have been spending a lot of nights at my bff's house. Heather lives in Licoln Park in a pretty fabulous house. She's been my most treasured confidant throughout every stage of my divorce/seperation and the way she accepts me into her home as a guest is most generous and most appreciated.

Heather's little boy, Jackson, is almost two. It's ben great fun watching him grow. He loves dogs as much as Heather and I do. He's very attached to his mom but he's also really independent. This morning when I woke up he greeted me in his diaper and t-shirt with his drill in hand and wearing safety goggles.

Jackson has, as every child does, an hour or so each day when he gets most crabby. He is offered milk, hugs, music and food at this time as pacifiers and he usually finds one thing that'll calm him down. One day he was being particularly crabby as he sat on his mother's lap and would not take anything to calm himself. So, I pretended to be eating a sandwich and asked him if he wanted a bite. "It's a Pluto Sandwich, you want some?" I offered it to him and and he stopped crying. He looked at my hand and then at me and I said, "it's really good! Mmmnnn." He leaned toward the sandwich, opened his mouth and took a bite. "Right? It's good, isn't it?" I took another bite and rubbed my tummy, "wow it's good." He leaned over for another bite.

I don't know what they put in those sandwiches but they work every time.